Allow me to reintroduce myself…

Hello! Anyone there? My last post was April 2021. And wow. So much has changed. I knew from my first go around that having a baby rocks your world, and for myself personally, I tend to go inward in the post partum period. But going from 1 to 2, took me straight into survival mode. And I’m not very good at opening myself up when I feel… messy. I felt very out of control for a long time. I also felt not in alignment with who I was on this platform. Survival mode meant a lot of processed foods, not taking care of myself, and not living how I wanted to. I needed the space to just be in it and not worry about how it was perceived or trying to create content when I was hanging by a thread. I needed time to be offline and to process outside of this website and social media. And beyond that, the way I viewed health changed drastically at that time. Whatever I could do to make our lives just a little easier, simpler, less exhausting was of hirer importance to me than ingredient lists or nutrition facts.

At the same time- this time has absolutely flown just being in the magic and mess of babies and toddlers. My life has looking like baby kisses, tantrums, sickness, snuggles, food on everything, toys everywhere, exhaustion, and unbelievable joy.

So while I am nowhere close to perfection in my current lifestyle, I definitely feel like I am taking steps in the right direction. I’m feeling more in alignment with myself and in doing so, wanted to come back here to share. 1) because I’ve always loved this community and platform but 2) more importantly, I know that there is actually beauty in the mess and that is actually where I would be the most in service to others.

Over the past (almost!) 2 years, I’ve grown in my approach to health and have even changed my mind about some of my favorite health topics.

I don’t plan on opening up coaching anytime soon. As for now, this is just a blog and Instagram revival. I also will continue to not share much of my children here. It’s a tough call but as this is a public space- I want them to be able to make those calls for themselves as they grow.

I’m excited to be back and I’m looking to sharing here again with you. And if this doesn’t sound up your alley anymore, no worries at all. But if does- thank you for sticking around!

Cheers, AHS

Pregnancy Update

Note: This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. I make a commission if you use affiliate links in this post. Product links embedded and featured at the end of the post.

27 weeks bumpie

Unsurprisingly, I haven’t been the best at giving updates on this pregnancy. In general, I have found it better overall than the last. I have felt like myself, which is a huge relief. That was my least favorite part of the last round. That being said, the last time, I was very focused on all things pregnancy: I read everything, tracked every little detail, plotted all aspects of the nursery. This time, I haven’t had the capacity to embrace it the same way. I found myself wanting to rush through the pregnancy part of things and get to the end. It’s a mix of feeling out of my body (again...), when I kinda feel like I just went through it. The first time I was enamored with all of the changes. The second time, focusing on my baby who is earthbound already, has distracted me from the one growing inside. That being said, I recognized that was happening a few months ago, and felt called to get more in touch with my own divine feminine and cherish this time more. I’ve been focusing on my meditation, which helps me slow down and be more present. Who knows if I will have the privilege to do this again (whether we can, or want to?)? This is one of the most challenging, magnificent things I will ever do in my lifetime. I’m trying to slow down and appreciate the time with baby girl while she’s still stuck with me! Based on her daily kick activity, I think she’s going to have a personality like her dad– very into ALL of the activities!!!

The practicalities

Glucose update:

I realize I never really gave an update on my glucose results. Well, that’s because I didn’t get them back for like 3 weeks! The lab had some type of trouble. I kept following up, but it just took a while! Thank goodness, I passed with flying colors (kinda would’ve been a problem if I had gestational diabetes… but won’t dwell on that scenario!). I found out right before my phone was dropped in the ocean, thankfully. Otherwise, it would’ve been a month before I found out!

Symptoms:

Migraines - this is new for me. Headaches that turn into sensitivity to light and sound. I don’t get them every day but have definitely been a part of the pregnancy. Doc advised having a bit of caffeine with my water and tylenol, but they mostly happened at night, so never really tried it. I would just go to bed early with a mask over my eyes and hydrate. They were most common in the second tri, but have had them in all 3 trimesters!

Acne - Or is it maskne? I’m just getting random pimples on my face, not into it. This is not something usual for me, so gotta be the hormones or the masks, or both.

Red dots - I have these red dots on my chest, which my doc thinks are from all the extra estrogen flowing through my bod. She’s ran a blood test to be sure it’s wasn’t something with my platelets, just to be sure. Just a weird nuisance.

Sweets craving - very strong this time. I have wanted all of the sugar. Chocolate. Ice cream. I’m a walking stereotype. Last time, my cravings were more acid-focused. I still have serious lemonade cravings though (yes, I know, more sugar!).

Acid reflux - woof. It’s back, and I think worse than last time. Maybe baby girl has more hair? My papaya enzyme chewables do help though, and I don’t stress about having too many Tums, which can apparently be an issue.

Lower back pain - As the belly grows, so does the lower back pain. It’s not like a shooting pain (don’t worry it’s not early labor or anything!), just a general ache. I started using this amazing Lavender sleepy lotion on my back before bed, and it actually really helps! (Full disclosure: they sent it to me to try! But if I run out, I will def buy for myself!)

Cramping - The cramps around the belly are getting real! They started sometime around the 30-week mark, and have progressively gotten worse. Maybe Braxton Hicks? Hard to say, but I definitely feel like we are approaching go-time!

31 Weeks in AZ on my “weaning trip” with my mama

Other random thoughts:

• Exercise difference - With my pregnancy with James, working out seemed impossible. I felt like a sloth. My energy levels were just not up to it. I forced myself occasionally, but was NOT into it. This time in the first and second trimesters I was actually craving cardio, which I found very surprising! We finally got our “Feloton” set up in Feb and that helped a lot. It really helped me feel good. In the third tri, I have been struggling with the motivation to get on it.

• Recently, everything seems hard again. Hard to put on shoes. Hard to get up. Back pain coming back. An occasional round of lightning crotch (IYKYK). It’s just the struggle that comes with a massive ball sitting in your middle. I just didn’t remember it happening this soon with the last pregnancy, but it probably did.

• Baby girl is incredibly active. Kicking all of the time in the weirdest positions, so I don’t think she is head down yet. But grateful that I don’t have to worry about counting kicks because it would literally take my entire day.

• I’ve started thinking about labor again. Wah. I watched Laura Clery’s whole birth series and I’m shook remembering giving birth without medication! So still torn on the whole epidural thing. You can read all about the birth of sweet baby James here, which in general, I feel good about BUT, in retrospect, was actually quite scary towards the end! Recently, I just learned about hypnobirthing (3 mentions, 3 days in a row, by different places and sources– I’m taking it as a sign!). I think I’m going to take an online class in it–will share when I have an update on it.

• And along the lines of labor, my thoughts are turning to pack the hospital bag, and gifts for L&D nursing staff. We dropped things off last time on our way out the door last time, and I always felt bad that I hadn’t known if the nurses (who were incredible during my delivery) even received them. This time I would like to have them ready to go in advance.

The GEAR

Prepping for baby girl has been more of shopping for cute little girl outfits, and thinking through what I would like to do differently. With James he slept in our Design Dua bassinet next to the bed for the first three months, then we co-slept with him in the bed, then in a sidecar. Then he moved to his own bed for falling asleep and he would come to our bed in the middle of the night, and now he just sleeps straight through! I loved co-sleeping with him, but I’m worried about doing it all over again. So many X factors (what if we can’t breastfeed? what if she prefers sleeping solo? what if James gets jealous?), so I want to be prepared.

• I am thinking about getting the Owlet to track her vitals, so I’ll feel more comfortable putting her in another room sooner. Last time, I was convinced it would make me an obsessive crazy person, but this time, I honestly don’t think I have the capacity to turn that way, so could just be good peace of mind. But also, if we end up co-sleeping, seems like a waste. So still up in the air on it.

• I’ve been considering renting the SNOO bassinet. People who love it, swear by it. But I’ve heard a few stories of people who regretted getting it because they didn’t want to use it the full way it was intended. I’m not quite sold yet. Holler at me with your reviews.

• I need a new monitor that works well for two, and preferably one that remembers wifi networks for when we are bopping around visiting grandparents (seems like such a small thing, but has been the bane of my existence). I haven’t decided on one yet, but will share when I have an update.

• We have the Uppababy Cruz stroller (which doesn’t convert to a two-seater, unlike the Vista) because I thought the spacing was probably going to be further apart for the kiddos, so I wanted something more lightweight. Instead of upgrading to the Vista– I think we are going to go with the Veer Wagon. I’m obsessed with its all-terrain ability and that we will be able to use it for years to come. I think James is going to go nuts for it, and it has car seat attachments for baby girl early on.

• I have the Spectra S1 breast pump, which worked great for me with James. I went with that one vs the S2 (There was an upgrade fee- S2 was free with insurance) because of it’s rechargeable battery– and I’m so glad I did. Game changer. This time around, I am getting the Baby Buddha, since the parts are compatible with the Spectra, and apparently it transitions beautifully to be handsfree/in bra. Oh, and it also has a very powerful suction! I also just read THIS amazing breast pump review post that I found very helpful. Note: you can get breast pumps for FREE through your insurance. And you can upgrade to certain ones for less than retail cost. So if you have insurance, you def should go that route.

• “People” say to re-up on bottles and pacifiers. I probably will buy some, but honestly, James so rarely used them, I’m not fussed. I really don’t think it’s necessary. That being said, I AM considering buying one of those sterilizer machines, so that I can really feel good about reusing some of it.

The urgency I feel to get all of this sorted is finally creeping up on me, but because we have everything we needed for James, I am much less stressed about the situation. I have a feeling I may wait until she is here to decide if we need some of the bigger items, like the Owlet.

The countdown is on! About 6 weeks to go! YAY! Thanks for reading about the journey. :) - AHS

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Product Links in this post

• Papaya enzyme chewables

• Lavender sleepy lotion

• Design Dua bassinet

• Owlet

• SNOO bassinet

• Uppababy Cruz

• Veer Wagon

• Spectra S1 breast pump

• Baby Buddha breast pump

Announcement! Baby Shea 2.0 is coming in June!

Surprise! We are having another baby!

Where to begin… I have been feeling very quiet about this pregnancy. Once I told my people directly, I didn’t feel the need to be vocal about it. We are so excited! But I know so many who have suffered losses over the past year, and I just wanted to keep it closer to home for a while. But since I decided to spend more time sharing on SHED, I’ve found it increasingly difficult NOT to share this massive thing going on in my life. What better time than Valentine’s Day to share the love?

Baby James has no idea what is happening!

How did you find out?

We found out in October, right after we got back from our trip from Colorado. I was definitely not expecting it, so probably were more liberal with our actions than I would’ve been–had I known. Whoops! I thought my cycle was going to start the day we left. And then it didn’t come and didn’t come. Conor thought I was being overly obsessive, but on late day 6 I took 3 tests, and it was a resounding positive! COVID life meant Conor was home, so I didn’t have to keep the news to myself all day. We were both so shocked and happy. Still are, really!

Do you know Baby’s Sex?

We found out in December that baby is a GIRL! I was thinking I was going to boy mom city, so I am very pumped that girl clothes are in our future.

What is the baby’s Due Date?

Baby girl will be joining us sometime in early June! Most likely looking like she will be a gemini! This also means we will have 2 under 2 for more than a month! WAHHHHH

How many weeks are you?

I am 23 weeks. I will be 24 weeks in a few days. More than 1/2 way!

How Has Pregnancy been?

Pregnancy has been different from last time. The first trimester was still exhausting and nauseating, but I haven’t had the baby blues that I did last time. I’ve heard that boys can wreak more havoc on your hormones, which could be the case. In general, I’ve felt in better spirits and ready to take more on. Well, in some ways. In other ways, I’m even more exhausted from chasing after a toddler all day. I’m mostly just happy that I feel more like myself than I did the last time around.

I have also started to show sooner, unsurprisingly! This week, I definitely have been feeling belly! I’ve also had a much stronger sweet tooth this time around!

Do you have a name picked out?

We have several names in the running, but nothing decided yet. We are waiting to share the name (whenever we decide) until baby girl is here!

How has James handled the news?

I don’t think he has any idea what we are talking about! We keep telling him he’s going to have a little sister. He likes to push his stroller around, and we tell him he can push the new baby in the stroller, and he points to pictures of babies when we say that. But overall, I don’t think he really gets it. He’s in for a shock come June!

Is this why you moved?

Yes! We needed more space, ASAP!

Is this why you are only posting pics of carbs?

YUP. When I’m prego all I want are CARBSSSSSS.

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So that’s our big news! Thanks for reading! Let me know if you have any other personal or general pregnancy/baby questions. <3 <3 -AHS

Honoring Life Seasons and a Glorious Mountain Getaway

Last year, on the ten year anniversary of backpacking through Europe, I was sitting on the couch, at home, with my newborn child. As I sat there, I thought about how that version of me looks nothing like this version of me. The version of me that boarded a ferry in southern Greece to travel through the night to southern Italy looks a lot different than the woman in gym shorts, holding a baby on the couch, still waiting for her body to heal.

And here's what's true: neither of those versions of myself are worth more or less than the other. The woman heating up leftovers is worth no less than the woman dining at sunset in a village that took a passport to get to. We are the same person in different places. Both are integral parts of who I am.

I share this for anyone who feels like the current version of themselves is less than another version. Maybe you used to travel a lot more than you do now and you're desperate to get back out there. Maybe you used to be in love with someone and you're no longer speaking and you can't help but wonder, "was I more charismatic or beautiful back then? Did I lose it?"

You didn't lose it. You're still beautiful. You're still worthy of love and a meaningful life, no matter what has changed. People change. Seasons change. Relationships change. But you are still you. You are not worth any less than your former self. Saying goodbye to a quote-on-quote "adventurous" life doesn't mean you're saying goodbye to yourself as a whole. Leaving behind a relationship or a place you used to love doesn't mean you're leaving love behind.

Whoever you are on this day, right here, right now, is more than enough to continue living a beautiful, meaningful life. You don't have to wait any longer.

There are some things you can only learn by traveling the world and this is also true: there are also some things you can only learn by staying in the same place for a decade. Traveling far away can be incredibly valuable but it doesn't mean it's the only way to learn.

It is definitely easier to get unstuck when you're able to go somewhere near and start something new, but it's not the only way. You are allowed to come alive right here, however that looks. Even when the days are blending together.

You may not be able to break out of the city like you want to, but perhaps you can still break out of old ways of seeing yourself. You can be curious and learn from who you are, right now, in this space.

There are times in life where leaving is the best thing you can do. And there are times where staying in a seemingly boring and uninteresting space can shape you. It's not the same for every person and every situation but what matters at the end of it all is: you don't have to shame yourself for feeling like you're stuck. You don't have to fear that there's no hope for who you are becoming because the present moment isn't what you hoped it would be. – Morgan Harper Nichols (original post here)

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My favorite modern-day poet/artist, Morgan Harper Nichols shared the most inspiring post on her Instagram a few weeks ago (full caption above). It was a beautiful reminder that we need to embrace and honor the season of life we are in. As we returned back to our home in the city after an extended hiatus, it made me realize that so much about what I have been missing, I had been missing since BEFORE COVID, and really began with mamahood, or even really, pregnancy. I have felt disconnected from my constructed sense of self. I always think of myself as an adventurous, ambitious, optimistic, free-spirited traveling soul. In pregnancy, I felt very far from those things. In general, I didn’t feel like myself and I hated it (and it had nothing to do with my body image either! Pure, hormonally-induced depression).  Post-pregnancy- I felt like myself again- but I also had no time to be me outside of being a mama. Not to mention the worry that comes with becoming a parent.  I’ve loved being this little dude’s mom, and at some points, I have been very happy to get “lost in motherhood”. And that is 100% okay. I want to honor the season of life I am currently in– because really this time is precious and is already flying by. It is totally fine to not be jet setting around or crushing it in my career right now. Sometimes that’s hard to process. But I am a woman outside of being a mother and I don’t want to lose sight of that either. 

We had been staying in Boulder for the past two weeks, and we didn’t want to be too far from the little man, so that narrowed down our search for night away. We debated hotels, spas, the works. But in the end we wanted to be close to nature, away from humans, someplace cozy, and someplace to take a good soak (or a “tubby” as Conor calls it! lol). We landed on an AirBnb- The Fall River Cabins. It was exactly what we were looking for. It was super cozy, rustic, and gave us access to an incredible hiking trail on the premises that lead into Rocky Mountain National Park.

This creek ran right behind our cabin. Just lovely!.'

Now my little bub is over 1 year old. I am ready to make time for more ME. Our little mountain getaway was the perfect remedy. I could’ve used a full weekend, I’ll be honest. But baby steps :) one night was hard enough (for this mama and James’s grandparents)! 

My brain needed the time away to have a moment to regroup. The time away gave my mind space to breathe, pause, take stock, and recalibrate. 

The time in nature (without worrying about bub) helped me feel like myself. It got me into my body and out of my head. It reminded me how strong I actually am.

Time alone with Conor gave us time to plot out our next moves as a family. It helped us align on what we wanted, and even more specifically, what I wanted to do next. Not to mention, much needed alone time!

I was able to walk away with an actual plan on how I wanted to go about accomplishing what I wanted. (Sure, can most people do that without getting away? Yes. Is it really hard to carve that space with a little bub hanging around all of the time? Also, yes.)

I was able to sleep. Fully. Deeply. With so much space around me. And completely uninterrupted. God bless. 

I was able to come back to my lil man restored and ready to give him my full attention. 

And while I have enjoyed every day since this little love was born–now I’m excited again about the future. And I feel like me again. The me that can do anything she puts her mind to. And that feels like the best! <3 -AHS

Taking a good tubby, helps me to reset and let my mind rest. Bonus points for fire gazing simultaneously.

Nothing like starting the morning with a coffee + soak!

Our Bohemian Nursery Tour

If you follow along on Instagram you may have noticed a change recently… my handle changed from @shed.for.the.wed to @shedwellness. Can we say hells yes to Shed for the Wellness!!! Because making “soulful, healthy, eating decisions” is not something that you do just to prepare for weddings. It’s what you do to fuel your life, whatever life stage you are in! As my life has evolved the topics we cover have grown too. More changes will come down the road, but as for now, think of the change as a way to encompass SHED living for all! Along those lines, I asked and you guys answered, you want more baby! Which leads me to our topic today– our nursery tour! While this may be a stretch from talking about healthy eats–beautiful spaces are good for the soul! Having a nursery you like to spend time in falls into the “Soulful” part of SHED! So without further ado, I hope you like it as much as we do!

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I’ve had a lot of people ask me about the nursery and what were some of the key pieces that brought it together. I will be honest, it is still a work in progress. We were gifted some beautiful name art, but I have yet to get them framed! I’ve moved the chair and ottoman several times, so the art surrounding those corners could use a little facelift. But overall, we just are in love with the nursery!

We wanted James to have a beautiful, zen place to spend his time (um and mine!) and wanted it to feel like an extension of the rest of the home. I think we succeeded because now it’s our favorite room! While having a beautiful nursery is far from necessary, it definitely helps with my own zen. It helps me to have a space where everything goes, and it inspires me to keep up with all of the laundry! It’s actually one of the easiest places to keep clean in the house (for now! lol).

We hoped to create a mostly gender neutral room, but with some pops of color. We didn’t have a theme, but bohemian, earthy, eclectic is the vibe we were going for. I knew we needed a big new dresser because oh my goodness, SO MANY BABY OUTFITS. I’d been eyeing a campaign-style dresser and it works just perfectly.

Gemma Extra Wide Dresser from Pottery Barn Kids. Changing Basket from the Basket Bazaar. Sound machine/night light by Hatch.

My mother-in-law is the queen of rattan and she gave us a lot of these small details– the hanging basket on the wall, toy rattan chairs, little umbrella container, etc. We change up the shelves all the time, but I love having my grandmother’s Blessed Mother there. She passed right before I went to college, and it makes me feel close to her. Other items are things we’ve collected from our travels and art we’ve found at local art fairs.

Rattan mirror from Target.

I fell in love with rattan cribs when I was pregnant, and it really set the vibe for the rest of the room. However, they are NOT easy to find in the US. The ladies at Valentine and Co (based in Perth, Aus!) were super helpful in getting this gorgeous crib to us.

James has had so much fun in the macrame swing, since he has been able to sit up we use it almost every day! The Lovevery Play Gym has really been the most utilized of all of the nursery items- he plays there every day! And it really does grow with him.

That little book shelf was not supposed to be permanent, I found it headed for the trash outside our building. I cleaned it up, and I love reusing such a random piece–but we probably need something a little bigger.

Play Gym from Lovevery. You are my sunshine morse code art by Covert Design Co on Etsy.

Jute rattan crib from Valentine and Co. Stars and Moon mobile from Firefly in Love on Etsy. Canopy from World Market. Chair from Anthropologie (can’t link because they don’t make this print anymore).

Macrame Swing from Finn + Emma.

James used the Moses basket bassinet (now currently filled with stuffed animals!) for the first three months in our bedroom. We loved it’s low profile and how it fit so well with our room’s vibe. He can still sit it in, but he’s such a big boy, he’s really outgrown it lengthwise. Right now it is perfect for all of his soft toys!

The glider was probably the most challenging item for me to pick out. I really struggled with finding one that I liked aesthetically, but also was going to be comfortable. This one is beyond comfortable and it doesn’t look frumpy! I have spent countless hours feeding him and rocking him to sleep here, so I am so glad we prioritized comfort.

The sheepskin rug was actually in my nursery when I was a babe, so I love having it for James. The faux sheepskin stool my step mama made for me a few years ago and I love it. We use it as a side table.

Signature Bilia Bassinet and stand from Design Dua. Pup not included.

Glider and Ottoman from Wayfair. Rug from HomeGoods.

So that’s it! Our sweet little man loves his bohemian-chic, rattan paradise (okay and so does his mom!). What do you think? How are you designing your nursery for your little one?

Cheers -AHS

The Birth Story of our Sweet Baby James

[But before you get your hopes up for lots of baby pics, we have decided to keep face photos of our sweet pea to our private social media accounts for now.]

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share this story, mostly because it’s obviously very personal. But at the same time, if my story can in anyway help other women or first time moms mentally prepare for what’s to come, I wanted to share. So in that spirit I wrote side notes through out the story that have some educational tidbits for mama’s to be! (Notes for my first time prego friends in [italics]. :)) I also didn’t get too graphic just because those details don’t really feel apart of the story, but I did go there with some of the FAQs.

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On July 28th, 2019 - our whole world changed forever! Sweet baby James came into our world after about 21 hours of labor. He was unexpectedly large, 9 lbs 4oz and about 22 inches long! It was love at first sight. That’s the summary. A more detailed story follows…

Before bed the night my water broke! My last prego mirror selfie. Almost 41 weeks.

It was a beautiful Friday evening in late July, and at 6 days past his due date, we had given up on our little man coming on his own. We were convinced we would need to use our scheduled induction date that wasn’t for a few days (FYI it was July 30, hoping for a July 31st bday, ahem, like Harry Potter). We had eaten a lovely dinner al fresco (ahh dreaming of summer rn!) at our local Italian joint with my parents and were in bed by 11. I am so thankful for the early bedtime, because a long day was ahead of us. [Note: I said early bedtime and I laugh at that now, 8:30 is a proper early bedtime for us all these days lol]

At around 2:58 am I was up going to the restroom (as one does who is 41 weeks pregnant) and on my way back to bed, my water broke! We ate some Cherrios [note: eat before you go to the hospital- they won’t let you eat when you arrive, and who knows who long that will be!] and by 3:45am we had made it to the hospital and were chilling in triage. I wasn’t having any contractions yet, so my husband and I were just having a party. Playing music, getting excited to meet our baby boy within 24 hours! [Note: once your water breaks, the doctors want the baby safely delivered within 24 hours because there is a higher risk of infection after that point. Otherwise, we would’ve waited at home for the contractions to start. The way this happened is not actually most common.]

Sunrise over Lake Michigan from our room.

By 7 am we were moved up to labor and delivery with the most gorgeous view from our room. We watched the sun rise over Lake Michigan. It was a beautiful start to the day! I wasn’t very dilated at all, so they set up my IV and started the pitocin flowing to get things moving.

[Note: the one thing I really knew I didn’t want was an induction with pitocin- and that’s what happened. Childbirth is a lesson in surrendering control. It’s preparing you for the rest of parenting–you have to be ready to roll with the punches!]

Things progressed quite slowly, but the contractions were getting stronger and stronger. By about noon I was ready for an epidural. In my birth plan, I wasn’t positive how I felt about medicating, but I had done enough research to know that there really weren’t enough convincing reasons for me to not get one (IMO). I thought I may want to walk around, or give birth in a squatting position. I was also worried about not being able to feel my legs [note: that also apparently isn’t supposed to happen, but I had heard anecdotally it was quite common.]. I just wanted to see how it felt in the moment. Well in the moment, I had no interest in walking around or squatting (although I did try it when I was pushing- it was not nearly as great as I thought it would be!). I can say whole heartedly, I definitely wanted that epidural!

This is right after I got the epidural. The definition of blissed out.

My anesthesiology resident struggled with getting it in the right spot at first [note: that sucked. It took twice as long as it should’ve. My husband wasn’t allowed in the room. And I had asked to not have a resident and they still sent one. Stand firm in what you want. Unlike me.] but once it was properly in place, it was amazing. I was on cloud 9. It was the best I had felt since before I was pregnant. I was on the verge of tears I was so happy. I remember thinking that this is how childbirth should be- so happy, so much love. It was wonderful. It also allowed me to rest for the following 8+ hours and prepare for the hard part! I swear the only thing we did for the bulk of the day was watch SVU reruns. [Note: bring a laptop if you care about your entertainment. I loved the SVU reruns, but you won’t know what’s the hospital programming will be. It could be awhile.]

The dilating took forever. Around 10:30pm (almost 19 hours after I got to the hospital!), they told me I was finally ready to start pushing. I was feeling good. My doctor and nurses coached me through the proper breathing (I hadn’t taken any classes on that!) and we started to roll. I was doing great (albeit, I did feel like I was going to vomit when I pushed. But in the scheme of things it was pretty chill). I was doing so well, in fact, that my doc left to help another woman in labor who was struggling quite a bit more than me.

Sheer exhaustion and unbelievable happiness captured in one photo.

When she came back, the whole vibe had shifted. I was writhing in pain, and had completely stopped pushing. The pain was excruciating and getting worse and worse and so she decided to give me a full reboot on my epidural. The same resident came in from before, and he “reupped” me. It didn’t help. In fact the pain was getting worse. My husband played some Lizzo (my only request for my “birth mix”) and I begged him to turn it off. At that point the attending anesthesiologist came in and saw that in fact, my epidural had fallen out (!!!!!!). [Note: guys that is not supposed to happen. Ever. Also quite dangerous.] How the first guy missed it was beyond me. But regardless, my doc delivered the bad news that there was nothing they could do at this point to help with the pain. All I could do was to push. And somehow I gathered up all my strength and pushed! Oddly (or not so much), pushing helped the pain. It was like my body was rewarding me for doing what it was supposed to do. And at 12:42am on 7/28 our sweet baby entered the world!! It was such an incredible moment. I was beyond exhausted–so shaky from what my body had been through. And so overcome with emotion. My heart was exploding with love for this little human, so full of joy that he was here at long last, and overflowing with gratitude that we all were healthy and well.

It was definitely the hardest thing I have ever done. And by far the best. <3

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FAQs

I’ve had a lot of people ask me follow up questions on my labor experience and some of the decisions I made. I will try to answer some of those here! *I am not a doctor!! Just sharing my own experience. Please do not take any of the following as medical advice.*

How did you decide on getting an epidural? After that horror show, Would you get one again?

As I mentioned above, I just wasn’t sure about it. I had done research on it, and felt comfortable with it from a safety perspective for myself and baby. Also as I said above, I wasn’t sure if I was going to want to move around, or squat, or any of it really. In the end I didn’t want those things, so the epidural made sense. From a more hippy perspective, I had read Alicia Silverstone’s book, The Kind Mama, and she talked about giving birth to her son without medication and how it was a primal sensation. And how connected she felt to her son through it. As someone who has now been through with the epidural and also without, I can say, I definitely felt more zen, connected, and at peace with the birthing process with the epidural versus without. For a while I definitely thought I would get the epidural again. But recently, someone pointed out that because it had fallen out there was a chance I could have been paralyzed… so coming from a place of fear, I may not do it for our next child.

Where were your labor pains?

Honestly, I think they were both in the front and in my back, but I didn’t feel them until after the pitocin kicked in. I’ll be honest, I don’t remember where they were at this point, just remember that they were painful and not fun.

Do you wish you had taken classes on breathing?

At the time, I was felt fine with how it happened. I did not feel ill-equipped. However, just recently I watched the GOOP Lab show on Netflix on the power of the Win Hof breathing technique, and I think it could’ve been a great back up since the epidural failed me in the end.

What did the water breaking feel like?

For me it was like a gush of warm liquid flowing down my leg. It was very obvious, because I had just gone to the bathroom- you just kinda know that it wasn’t a release that you are aware of. It’s almost like it is happening to you vs something you did yourself. The water kept coming too. I stuffed wads of paper towels in my underwear on the way to the hospital. I was luckily prepared for this because someone had warned me that it isn’t necessarily one gush and then its over. It can be for some people, just not in my case. Side note: most people actually have contractions before their waters break.

Did you have an Episiotomy? did you tear?

I did not have an episiotomy. My doctor and I both were in alignment about not going that route. My concerns were that sometimes they can go too far, and recovery would be worse than a tear. And I felt tearing was more natural and what our bodies anticipate. I did tear a bit, and they did have to give me stitches down there right after he was born. It was uncomfortable, but after the labor experience I was too exhausted to really be too bothered by it. Everything is very sensitive down there after giving birth. Ice packs are your best friend. I didn’t take any hard core pain killers, just a combo of heavy duty acetaminophen and ibuprofen. Also, stool softener. Because pushing down there is not fun for the first few weeks.

Were you able to breastfeed right away?

Yes. Within the hour after he was born he had latched and was nursing right away. We have been really lucky in that respect. It came naturally to us as a pair, despite the fact he has a tongue tie, which can make it harder on both of us.

New mom living and the direction of SHED

Our big strong 6 month old man! (We have decided as a family to not share pics showing his face to any public social media at this time.)

My sweet baby boy turns 6 months old this past month, and it has given me pause for reflection. These 6 months have been some of the most contented (albeit exhausting) months of my life. During this time, I have taken a maternity leave of sorts. Along with this, I’ve taken a hiatus from the SHED social media account, and have taken steps to limit my consumption on my personal social media accounts as well. I have tried my hardest to focus my energy and attention on this precious muffin.

That being said, living this way is really isolating. Being a mom is hard. I’m alone with him most of the day, (and especially in winter) sometimes we never leave the house (I’m actively working on changing that!). Not having other adults to talk to and not being able to relate to much of the professional workforce is challenging. It’s an exhausting, never-ending job with no pay, and you never know if you are doing the right things. But yes, it is incredibly rewarding too. Waking up and spending our days together, while monotonous at times, are filled with precious moments. Nothing makes my heart happier than when James finds me in a room and gets the biggest smile on his face. Doing my best for him every day has given me so much joy and honestly, I feel like it is the best job in the world.

“At the closing of the day,
Strengthen what remains.
And oh, what a beautiful season.
Oh, what a beautiful life. ”

— Tedeschi Trucks Band

So after a lot of time and deliberation, I have decided to scale back my coaching business significantly. Right now, baby is too unpredictable to have a consistent schedule with regular calls, and I want to spend as much time as possible with him at this stage. I will still be coaching, but only a very limited number of spots will be available. I will be focusing on finally launching the printed edition of the SHED cookbook. Guys it’s so close, I can’t wait to share it with you!! I also will be focusing a bit more on mom life- just because that is what is happening with me right now!

I will be coming back to social media, slowly but surely. I do miss the real connections I have made with many of you and I’m looking forward to connecting again! Cheers, AHS

Shed for the Preg: OVERDUE (and some baby shower pics!)

Hello there friends. Reporting to you 3 days past my due date, and no sign of baby Shea yet!

It has been a while since I have posted on the blog, and that’s for a few reasons. Mostly, it’s because of the way I have been feeling. It has been really difficult for me to engage with wedding related content right now, as it just hasn’t pertained to my life in the same way. As I’ve mentioned in previous “shed for the preg” posts- this pregnancy has been most challenging in my head versus in my body. I was talking to my cousin a couple weeks ago about the dissonance I felt from SHED, work, and social media on the whole and she gifted me with some clarity. She simply replied, “I would be surprised if you didn’t feel that way. Everything in your life is about to change, you need to create distance from these things to make room for what’s to come.” It was so simple, and yet so clear. As my priorities shift, so will my head.

So that being said, I do apologize for dropping off so fully and without explanation! I will be gone for a bit again as I sort out my new mommy priorities and we figure out how we function as a new family of three.

I did want to write this post though to share some of the beautiful moments of the past few months. Baby Shea has been showered with soooo much love!! And two of his aunties came for surprise visits! <3 <3 We are so overwhelmed with gratitude for all of the generosity, love, and support. I’ve shared some highlights from his special days below.

Besides that, the nursery did come together quite beautifully, and I will share some photos of it soon! Mostly, the past month or so has just been survival mode. Third trimester in the summer is no laughing matter- especially when the “real feel” temperature is over 108 degrees! I have had very little interest in cooking. Just snacking. At the bottom of the post I’ve shared my recent symptoms and cravings.

Bags are packed, everything is ready to go, we are just waiting on the little man! We’ve tried spicy foods, walking endlessly, pineapple, and more spicy foods. Getting desperate to meet the little guy! In the meantime, send me all the good labor vibes!

Thanks as always for following along the journey! -AHS

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Symptoms

These are numerous but for the sake of not being a whiner I will try to be brief. Some notable challenges are:

• Putting on my underwear and or shoes. Leaning over is painful!!

• The top of my ribs are perpetually sore from being kicked from the inside out

• Acid reflux at all hours

• Contractions that feel like menstrual cramps but never seem to lead to labor

• Exhaustion

• Brain fog (understatement of the century)

• Soooo hot, all of the time. Our condo has become an icebox.

Cravings

• All of the citrus. I am drinking more lemonade than anyone should. I’ve been diluting it or creating my own Italian lemonade with lots of crushed ice! I’m insatiable.

• Ice cream. All of it.

• Watermelon.

• Toaster waffles.

• Pickles.

I’m a living pregnancy stereotype, I know.

Shed for the Preg: Third Trimester Update

#33week bumpie. Enjoy my messy bathroom.

Well the countdown is on… baby Shea will be joining us so soon! Our due date is July 21 so we are in the final stretch. Lil dude is very active. I swear he has the hiccups at least 3x/day. He is tracking exactly to his due date, so we guess he will be average size. My blood pressure is normal, weight gain on track. All in all, fortunately very uneventful so far! Thank God. 🙏

Check out those swollen feet and ankles! :) Pufffffy!

We just came back from an epic family vacation/babymoon, a European river cruise. We hit up 4 countries and did a lot of walking, but everything was great! The biggest issue was some feet and ankle swelling.

Reflecting on this pregnancy, I realized it mostly has brought out the more chill side of my personality. I haven’t stressed overly about what to eat (but don’t worry I did plenty of research about it first! :)), and occasionally will indulge in a glass of wine. But at times, I wonder if I’ve done baby a disservice by not being hyper-vigilant. For instance, should I have changed my water filter on my fridge? Should I have really tried to stay away from dairy and refined sugars? Should I have exercised more vigorously? These questions plague me, often, but mostly I hope that my more laissez-faire approach will affect him positively through his demeanor. This sums up pretty accurately how I feel like this pregnancy has been more mentally challenging than physically. Yes, the physical changes are hard, but nothing compared to knowing that everything I do for the rest of my life will affect this kid. Sheesh. This is why we waited awhile before embarking on the parenthood train!

Currently, I am doing a lot of thinking about the birth plan. Doula or no doula? Epidural or try to go natural? My doctors have a very low c-section rate, which is important to me. If I have to have one, of course, let’s do it, but I really only want that if it is absolutely medically necessary. There are so many little details that go into it, I want to have a clear head while I can, knowing we are making the right moves for the little guy.

The other big thing is getting the nursery set up. We have to move a lot of furniture and junk currently in the room. So while we have a crib and lots of baby gear in there- we can’t really get set up until we get the other beds and desks out. If anyone has any organizational recommendations, I would seriously appreciate it! Cleaning is not a strong suit of mine.

Current symptoms:

• Feet swelling. This was particularly bad when we were on our Euro trip last week. The plane made them huge! They almost didn’t fit in my shoes!

• Running hot. It’s been so weird going from someone who was always cold to always hot. My hands, my feet, ice water is my new BFF. Summer is going to be fun!

• Waking up. If I don’t wake up several times in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, that’s a win. It isn’t so bad except for when I can’t fall back to sleep right away. Pretty standard, but only getting worse I’m afraid.

• Weight gain, duh. I’m at a little less than 30 lbs from my starting weight as of today (doc says less, I’m not complaining!). For not really trying to manage it–I’m happy with it. It’s weird feeling just letting my stomach takeover, but I’m kinda loving it.

• Acid Reflux. I used to think this was something that could be avoided, but apparently the relaxin hormone that “relaxes” the muscles to make room for babe also relax the sphincter (the lid between the stomach and esophagus), allowing stomach acid to make it’s way north. So really if it’s going to happen to you, it’s going to happen. This has gotten progressively worse with time. So hello, Tums!

• Hormonal emotions are back. I cried at the end of Pitch Perfect this week. Yeah, new low. 🤦🏻‍♀️😅

So that’s it for the current update! Apologies if I have been as present with the wedding content, my head is just in baby land right now. :) Thanks for following along on this journey! -AHS

Morel of the Story

I don’t quite have the words to capture the magic I feel in this place. Particularly in this rainy spring weather. The birds in chorus. The forest full with fresh greens. Moss covered trees. Fungi on everything. Damp bark, the clean, fresh air. Little tree frogs. Red tailed squirrels. A white tail frolicking away from us. The energy of trees that are hundreds of years old. The view of the river bluffs carved from the same glacier that made the ole Mississippi.

I’m at my dad’s (no longer working) farm, that has been in our family for almost 200 years. The farm land (consisting of corn and soybeans as crops) was sold a few years ago. What’s left? 150 acres of woods, creeks, ponds, and furry friends!

Sup lil brah

I want his shell to be replicated into art for my home! So pretty!

An atmosphere perfect for foraging morels. Morel mushrooms are incredibly good tasting mushrooms that can’t be cultivated. They (seemingly) just grow at random during the Spring. They are native to the midwest– and they are fabulously yummy. I’ve only come down to the farm maybe twice before during this time of year. I remember coming as a kid, and being very disappointed in the process. My husband has a joke he loves to say, “Alexandra vs nature”– well imagine a young kid version of this. Bugs? Cold? Rain? Looking in dirt? Yeah not so ideal. But adult Alexandra, while still hating insects in my space, handles all of this much better. And in fact, I kinda love it!

Walking in the woods, listening to the birds, the crunch of the branches beneath my feet. It is very much a magical, meditative experience.

Then comes the actual search process. This is the part I am learning I am not so good at. I thought being so distinctive, I would have no trouble with this. Pattern recognition is my jam. Well, finding them is a pretty random game. There needs to be some sunlight, so that the land isn’t too moist. And they tend to be close to elm trees, but not necessarily directly under them. Lots of rain seems to help them to pop up, too.

I’m embarrassed that my initial thoughts made me feel like I was in a real life version of Zelda. Searching for any oddities or things out of place. I felt like I was pretty good at that. I found a tree frog, countless spiders, a deer antler, various other types of fungi, deer fur, and more. But the morels… a bit tougher. I found the first one of the trip, but my beginners luck ended there. The thrill of finding one is addictive. It feels like finding gold–nature’s gold, that is! 

My dad really seems to have a knack for it. Miraculously, on day 2, my dad found the hot spot of all hot spots. We found an area with about 100 morels! It was like hitting the jackpot. So so satisfying, everywhere we turned we could find one! So satisfying. 

This is beyond farm to table. This is natural food, uncultivated, just created because mother nature is incredible, then foraged and immediately put on the table. I’m beginning to understand the appeal of hunting. I’m much happier with being the gatherer in the hunter-gathering scenario though! 😅

I’m so thankful for the experience: for the connection to the land and my food! “Morel” of the story: I came back after 3 days having a much deeper appreciation for all that our mother earth provides for us! -AHS

How to Prepare morels

In terms of preparation- simpler is better! My step mom lightly breads them and fries them. A delicious option if you are into crunch! After cleaning them thoroughly (and I mean thoroughly!!!) I prepared them in a large pan. I heated them and let them release their water for a few minutes. With some of the mushroom juice still available I added several pads of butter, and white wine! They pair beautifully with pasta, steak, or even a burger!